Excerpt from ‘hope ful fool’ 

Two days ago, my brother and I were coming back from the super market. My brother was driving way too fast, as usual, and we had an accident. We bashed a car, and the car hit another car, all three cars were pretty damaged, but Alhamdullilah ( Praise be to Allah), no one got hurt.
Mr Aminu, my lecturer called me and I told him about the accident. He emphathised with and told me that he was actually with Adnan and another person, whose name I did not care to know, at that moment. He asked if it was okay, if he gave prince Adnan and the other person my number, so they could greet and check up on me, and I told him it was more than okay. I was careful not to sound too excited, but really I was freaking out.
I had mixed feelings about the whole thing, first I was excited, and then it was followed by uncertainty and nervousness. So I wrote a list of possible questions the prince could ask me, and answers I would give him, stopping at intervals to question my mental fitness.
I waited for his call, like I was waiting for my life. I was with my phone throughout, everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I even installed true caller on my phone, so I could mentally prepare myself when he calls.
This morning, after fajr prayer, I was performing du’a when my phone beeped. After I finished performing du’a, I picked up my phone and saw that they was a text message. I clicked on the text message and it read : 

Assallam alaikum, prince Adnan here. I heard about the accident, and I’m so sorry. Just wanted to check up on you. I hope you are doing well? Allah hafeez.
A text message, seriously. I was disappointed, because it meant all my mental preparations and Q and A list would go to waste. He had no interest in me whatsoever and he only sent the message for the sake of common courtesy. Crushing on a prince was too stressful. That was when I decided that I was done with my shameless pursue of him, and I told myself that I was over him, I just had to be.
TWO WEEKS LATER
I was starting to get tired of the holiday and they was still two months left. My daily routine of sleeping, working, eating, praying and watching movies was becoming very boring. I needed to find something new to do ASAP. So, I called Mrs Abdulrahman, my entrepreneurship lecturer. Yes, I had a pretty good relationship with almost all my lecturers. She asked me to meet her in town, so we could discuss the assignment.
I got to the restaurant before her and found a table behind and waited for her to come. I waited for about five minutes when she came into the restaurant. I spotted her from afar scanning the restaurant looking for me.

”Miss Abdulrahman”, I called and waved her to come forward. She turned to look at me, and with a smile she walked over. She wore a long flowing black abaya and soft pink hijab neatly wrapped around her head. Mrs Abdulrahman was a tall, slim woman with dark skin. She didn’t look a day older than twenty six, but her first son was actually twenty six. 

”salam alaikum,” she said pushing her hands forward.

”wa alaikum assalam”, I smiled and shook her hands.

”how are you doing?” she asked as she drew out a chair from under the table and sat.

”I’m fine, Alhamdullilah”.

”you didn’t order anything?” she asked, motioning the waitress over.

We ordered for orange juice and chatted for a while, before she brought up the assignment discussion.

”you know about our annual film show right, the one we organise at the end of every year?” She asked.

”of course. Who wouldn’t? It’s like the biggest thing at school every year” I said, matter of factly.

She smiled, ”yes, some students have been chosen to play their different parts in making the show a success, but they was still one aspect of the show, that was yet to be taken care of. So when you called me, I just knew you’d be perfect for it. It is a video documentary on the life of royalty,” she said, adding a little drama to the way she said the last words.

”you want me to do a video documentary on the life of royalty?” I asked, my mouth forming an O shape. It felt amazing, I couldn’t believe it. I’ve always been fascinated with royalty.

She nodded and smiled, ”you would be covering the life of the royal family of Bida, Niger state. The abdullahi’s.

”what?” 

”the Abdullahi’s,” she repeated, raising an eye brow, with a questioning look on her face, ”is they a problem?”

”erm, no”, I lied. Of all the royal families in the world, why did it have to be his. 

Kinda a heart break 

Love love love.its a crazy thing.its that girl that’s chasing that guy that’s chasing the other girl.its that boy that’s chasing that girl that doesn’t like him. It makes us stupid,vulnerable,happy,confused…its like a fruit salad…only dat its a salad of emotions.

Once upon a time, I met a boy. He was white..he was a white Nigerian. He had the cutest smile ever and when I looked at him for the very first time I felt nothing, but when he spoke to me on our school bonfire night, I totally,helplessly fell for him.

When he went back to his school, we still communicated, lol, communicate is an understatement cos we spoke everyday all day. We made mad stupid jokes and had fun. When I realized that I was in love with him and he was in love with me too, I waited for him to tell me he loved me( lol typical African).

When he finally asked me to be his girlfriend, I said I wanted us to be just friends. I don’t know why I said so when clearly I wanted to be more to him. I was confused yet my mouth kept saying no when all my heart wanted was to say yes.

A month later

He came to my school, we talked like nothing ever happend. We spoke for long hours, he helped me fetch water and he told me I looked beautiful despite the fact DAT I was dressed like a house girl .he looked into my eyes and asked me to be his girlfriend again. I told him I would think about it(lol m such a Nigerian).

That night I wrote in my diary:

        In this moment of my life I’m at the point where I want something but I don’t really know if I want that something, and how long I’m going to want it. I know it sounds crazy and I don’t know if I’m the only one who ever feels this way.

I really want to be with him, but I can’t cos I’m scared I’m going to be broken when I have to loose him. I’m always the one doing the breaking, but this time it feels like its going to be different and I might end up being the one who gets broken.

I want to say yes every time he looks at me but something keeps stopping me.

In the morning when I woke up I wrote…

     I woke up with him on my mind and I knew I would go crazy if I didn’t say yes but it seemed like it was too late cos wen I went to look for him I was told he had left but he was coming back.I called him but his phone was switched off. I have a feeling I may have truly lost him and I truly truly hope my feeling is wrong. I just want to talk to him or see him before I run mad.

DAY 2

I seriously miss him. I knew I would be empty when he leaves, but I didn’t know what the emptiness would feel like.

I’ve never felt this way before and I think I feel this way because I didnt get to see him before he left and they is no way to communicate with him.

I don’t want to stop thinking about him,I don’t want to ever move on or get over him. I don’t even want to think about it.

DAY3

I think I’m going through that five stages crap, sadness,anger,acceptance,bla bla bla. Right now I feel angry with him and most especially with myself.

I feel as though if I keep my emotions inside of me, they’ll remain there, cos I don’t want them to go anywhere.

I’m going to patiently wait for him to come back. I realize all this craziness won’t get me anywhere so I’m going to patiently wait.I really hope to see him.
DAY4

Last night I was talking to my guy friend about my problem and he said, ‘honestly if you are going to take my advice, forget about him cos he’s going to break your heart’. 

I asked him why he thought so and he said he just knows I’m going to get hurt. For a moment I believed him but then I decided not to. Even if I’m going to get hurt, I still want to try and it might be my worst mistake but I’m willing to try.

Lol I remember a movie I once watched.the girl in the movie said when you really really really really really really (six really) like a boy or girl its love, but when its like for or five reallys its almost love, not yet.

I think I 4really like him.we still haven’t spoken,not seen him yet.

DAY5

You were the one

I wanted most

To stay.

But time could not

Be kept at bay.

The more it goes

The more its gone

The more it takes away

As the day passes by, the pain and my anticipation fades away. I miss him less than I missed him yesterday.


FINAL DAY

Its been quite long since I wrote anything about him.yah I miss him at least once everyday and I think about him coming back. I heard he might come back today. I’m excited even though I don’t know what I’m going to do or say when I see him.Been more than a month since I saw or spoke to him.

1 WEEK LATER

He didn’t come. I think a part of me knew he wouldn’t come. I was half sad and half contented. I still believe whatever is meant to be will be.

FIVE MONTHs LATER AKA TODAY

I was re reading the above pages and I was smiling thru out…was one hell of a journey. Things turned out alright after all and……oops sorry gotta go my boyfriends calling…😜

      

Hopeful fool

Falling for a prince?
image

WHEN I MET HIM
I can’t call it love at first sight, yet I don’t know what it was. It was just, what’s the word? ‘’unusual’’.
It was the last place I wanted to be, I really hated formal events, especially academic ones. My lecturer had forced me come, ‘’it would be very enlightening, you need to come’’, he had insisted. I had thought of excuses to give, but I found none convincing enough. So there I was, walking, more like pushing myself into the hall, with my face plastered on my phone. I raised my head up and then I saw him. Yah, this where the explosions and sparks should come, but they was none of that. I was shocked; it was like I was looking at a ghost. It wasn’t the kind of feeling a girl who had just seen, probably the love of her life, would usually get. It was the kind of feeling you’d get when you unexpectedly meet someone at an unexpected place.
I half looked at him, before hurriedly lowering my gaze. All I noted was that he was tall, not too tall, and that his lips were pink. I briefly stared at his white leather shoes and the pattern on them, it was a unique shoe. All the while I was thinking of what to say to him, and the reason why I was still standing on his way, before I could think of what to say to him, my mouth spoke.
‘’good afternoon’’, it wasn’t afternoon, it was morning, I was so stupid, ‘’good morning, inakwana,’’ I stuttered and moved away before I could make an even bigger fool of myself.
He smiled curtly and greeted me back, before walking away with a puzzled look on his face.
‘Bam’ the moment was over, I mentally shook myself and then I walked towards my lecturer who was already waving me to come closer.  Mr Aminu was an average heighted chubby man; he had a permanent smile on his face and the longest nose I had ever seen. I greeted him and we chatted briefly before I went to look for a seat for me and my friend, who had not yet arrived.
I sat on the front row and put my purse on the seat next to me. I picked my phone and started randomly scrolling for anything to cure my boredom, when suddenly; I felt a sudden breeze blow pass me, followed by a pleasant scent. I didn’t look up but I knew it was the same person I made a fool of myself of in front of him. The white shoes confirmed it. The sudden breeze was produced by his white babban riga and the pleasant scent, was obviously his perfume.
He was speaking to the man beside me but I couldn’t help but feel nervous, my heart was literally in my throat, seriously, I could feel it. I wiped away the sweat which was now forming on my chin with my hijab. ‘’prince Adnan’’, someone called from behind him and he turned to face the elderly man with a smile. He was a prince, I did further investigations and found out he was a prince, plus his father, the king o Bida, Niger state, was also present at the event. I don’t know why, but I was extremely disappointed, it obviously meant he was way out of my league, he was out of my league before I even found out he was a prince. He probably had some gorgeous Nupe girl betrothed to him and even if they weren’t a betrothed, he would be in a pretty serious relationship, or engaged or even married, not cool.
The last thing I wanted to do was hurt myself by being even the slightest bit attracted to him, so immediately dismissed every thought of him from my brain, and I swear it worked until he spoke to me. He was asking me a question but I couldn’t comprehend, I can’t even remember the words he said to me, all I know is that he spoke to me, and his voice stuck to my head. ‘’its okay’’, I told myself but I realised it wasn’t, the moment I accidentally looked into his eyes- big mistake. His eyes were clear and charming; I could tell they was a story behind them. Ok, so I’m clearly trying to be dramatic, actually I couldn’t tell if they was a story behind them or not, but his eyes were as fascinating as eyes could be.
I think he figured I wasn’t going to give a reply to whatever question he asked so he walked away, and my senses came back to me the second he was out of sight. Masha Allah, he must have thought I was crazy or mentally challenged or something.
The event ended and I left knowing it would be the last time I would ever see him. Sad as it was, I felt it was for the best.
I thought it was over, until I found myself searching Google and every social network for him. So I found him on face book, and I sent him a message, nothing deep just a ‘hy’. He replied hours later with a hello, and stupidly, I let myself feel a little hope- hope for us. So I sent him another message, ‘’hi, my name is sumaiya ibrahim ,we met last week at exquisite, during Seyi’s event. Remember that very weird girl, lol, that’s me.’’
Ever since I sent him the message he still hasn’t replied, and it’s been 12 days now. I’ve been stalking him on face book though, sometimes I wonder if he ever feels stalked, or what if he could really feel it, awkward. He probably would never reply, and it will never work, most parts of me has accepted this, but the stupidest part of me still has HOPE.
So what do u tink she shuld do next?

Read More

Old school love vs. Modern love

image

Its amazing how things are different from the way they were before. As life changes, loves changes and sincerity and purity fades away.
Relationships nowadays are different from the ones our parents had in their days.
Yesterday my friend’s cousin was talking about love, and I realised that indeed everything has changed.
Still yesterday, my mum and I were talking about marriage, she was telling me how she fell in love with my dad. It wasn’t like romeo and Juliet, but it was sincere, pure and simple and these are things lacking in modern love.
I’m going to write both stories, so you could see what I see.

               MODERN LoVE
Honestly, I’m not going to lie, I was first attracted to him because of his gorgeous, oh so beautiful car. He had a Mercedes Benz xLR McLaren, plus he was super rich, that made him super perfect to me, even though he wasn’t that fine.
I started to love him for real, and just when I had surrendered my heart to him, I found out that he was getting married to some local chic from bauchi. I was heart broken and insulted, he chose that village thing over me.

                   OLD SKUL LOVE
If you wanted to see him smile, just call my name, everyone knew he was crazy in love, except me. I had a lot of suitors then, and he was the least on the list.
I would pass by him everytime to meet my other suitors, completely ignoring him, but he’ld never get upset, and he’ld still come back the next day. I’ld ignore him again and again, but he never gave up. Sometimes held come and spend more than two hours waiting for me, patiently..
People started talking about him, making only positive remarks about him and how in love with me he was, even my mother liked him. I decided to give him a chance and slowly I fell in love, he had nothing but I knew he’ld do anything for me. He was funny, patient and understanding.
People tried to destroy our love, but we never broke. He had nothing and I had nothing too, all we could boast of was our love

Men or women, I think we should all learn to love deeper, with all our hearts. Try to look pass material and vain things..love is a big deal. 

(Please like and comment …loves)…merry Christmas

Posted from WordPress for Android

Letting go and getting over you…..(for my best friend)

image

  

          LETTING GO
Letting go of you was like having
A heart attack over and over again
You became all i every wanted but
                 Couldn’t get

It took all i had to let you go
I felt lost in my own world
I shed mental blood trying
                 To forget

I had never tried so hard with
Anyone and that’s why even when
You’ve left my mind, you
  Would never leave
            My heart

Sometimes when it’s not meant to be, you just have to let go…. Cos Letting go is your best option. 
And when we refuse to let go of what we shouldn’t stick to, we end up getting hurt. 
Several times i’ve seen people get broken all because they chose to keep fighting for what’s not worth fighting for or probably not theirs’. 
I know its hard to let go and even harder to get over it after Letting go… But i assure you that it will pass, it will heal through the test of time.. 
A lot of people would recommend different ways of getting over Letting go,  but i’m not sure if it works, i believe our hearts work in different ways..

Stay strong lovez…. And thanks for reading.. 🙂

Posted from WordPress for Android

Marry me

image

What do you think about marriage? If you think marriage is like living in the land of milk and honey, please wake up cos its not real. Everything you think you know about marriage, forget it cos you have no idea I.e if you’re not married yet…and I have no idea too..but….
    Is marriage about love? Can love alone sustain a marriage? The answer to both questions is NO.
   How do you know that this is the person you want to marry?
  No human is perfect, we all have our flaws. So they is no guarantee that you will always be happy with the person you choose to marry.
You gotta take your time, know the good and bad sides of that person, master the bad sides, see all the flaws and then you can make a decision. If you feel that you can live with him or her even with all the flaws, then please waste no time.
   Yes he might be hot tampered but still really nice with a good personality, and yes she might be clumsy but very considerate and understanding.
   Sometimes he might be nice sweet and romantic but very irresponsible, and she might be neat and beautiful but very hot headed.
   You just gotta put everything in consideration with the fact that no one is perfect in mind. Forget about love for a second, forget about looks, looks fade. If you feel that you can survive with that person beside you, through all the Good and tough times, then you’re good to go.

Marry your friend. After years of marriage, love will fade, the only thing that would sustain the marriage is that friendship. Have you ever thought about how we we can remain together with our  best friends for years, we fight and reconcile, but then its so hard to remain together with a boyfriend or girlfriend after a few fights and the passage of time?
The bond of friendship is incredibly strong, let your partner be your lover and friend

Marriage is too serious a business to be based on mere love, it takes more than just love to build a marriage. Marry someone who makes you better in every aspect of your life.
  For all you who think you’re ready to get married, for all you who can’t wait to get married, and for all those who have the notion that marriage is indeed a bed of roses, but with thorns around it.

Ladies and gents, chill, take your time, look in the right places, look deeper, look beyond d beauty, the wealth, looks and love..(don’t get me wrong, love is a beautiful thing). What you see, do you like or are you having doubt’s? ..its all good, but be careful, mistakes follow you no matter how hard you try to erase them…
  

Hy loves….please comment and let’s share matters of our hearts….,…..

P.S  I got a lot of phrases I put in the article from my constitutional law lecturer….Prof.Nchi…he’s so experienced😮*****amazed face****

Posted from WordPress for Android

Introducing me

image

Today was a very fun day for me…I’m really happy and contented…..I was thinking and then I realized, we haven’t really met, so let me introduce myself.

Who am I?….have you ever asked yourself this question? Have you been able to answer it? If you were asked this question on a form, or a questionnaire, what would you write?
My name is zainab Kabir, I’m law student at nasarawa state university. I think I’m a lot of things, I have like 99 personalities. Your personality affects my personality. I could meet ten people a day, and if you asked them what kind of person I am, they would describe my personality in ten different ways.
I like a lot of things, and hate a lot. sometimes i hate the things I like, and vise versa.
My friends would say I’m lazy, but my grandma and cousins would say I’m hardworking. Most people would say I’m nice, but my brother would say, “kind of, maybe, sometimes”.
If they is anything or anyone I love sincerely, they are my family, friends and coke..
I don’t really like meeting new people, I’m very comfortable with the ones I already know.
I don’t think anyone is really nice, until I get to know u deep. I hate it when people judge me, you don’t know half my story, forget you’ve known me for years. How can you know me, when even I don’t know myself.
I don’t judge people and I really don’t notice many things people seem to notice so much.
I like simple things, some people might doubt this, but the simplest and littliest things attract me. I don’t care if you’re nice or not, as long as I’m comfortable around u. I don’t care if you are beautiful or handsome, I’ll love you if you have a good heart.
I don’t know if I’m nice, pretty or anything, but I know I’m not a bad person. I love to see children smile, I love to be the reason for that smile. I’m very ambitious and would love to make a difference.
Religiously, I don’t know, I pray to God to make me stronger and a better person, to bless and protect my parents, siblings and friends, and to guide them through the right path.
I’m sometimes annoying and clumsy..and silly too

That was quite an introduction..ryt?
Comment please if we have anything in common, and feel free to tell me about yourself…

Adios

Posted from WordPress for Android

This thing called heart

Why do we do the things we do and why do we feel the way we feel?

Sometimes everything just seems so weird and crazy.                                               Sometimes we do things and end up feeling stupid about those things we did and wishing we didn’t do them.                  We condemn our hearts for having some emotions or feeling a certain about certain people or things.             

       Have you ever imagined what if we had remote controls to our hearts. We could tell our hearts what to feel and what not to feel, how to react and when not to react.                                                               how crazy would that be? I don’t think it would be fun. As crazy as those things are, as crazy as our emotions are, I’m sure we wouldn’t be happier if they were any different. Our crazy heart is perfect the way it is..

CRAZY QUESTION OF THE WEEK…..what if feelings didn’t come from our hearts, what if it was just made up and we have been made to believe it ?

Please share ur thoughts by commenting…I really want to know what you all think..